what ails me

2 Jan

What ails me

This post will not be inspiring nor will it be uplifting. I am feeling neither right now. What I am feeling is bummed.

Everything was going so well. I was flying though my hard copy of The Warrior, making edits left and right, feeling great about what I was coming up with, and even thinking I was nearing the end of writing this book. Then I got to page 100. Things slid down hill after that.

The edits I needed to make got signifigantly harder. I saw where the story line needed to change. I saw things I needed to go back and add, threads that needed to be laid down from beginning to end, whole characters who had to be created, and scene after scene that needed to be altered because of it.

I finished editing the hard copy. I wrote notes everywhere. I have a huge list on the back page of everything I need to add or change to make the story work. Now I have to go and do it.

And I feel like another mountain range just fell out of the sky in front of me.

I know what I need to do. Take the first step. Make that first edit. Cut that first word. Write the sentence for that next scene. It’s a big elephant; I need to eat it one bite at a time.

This is how stories are written. I just have to keep doing it. Fine.

But ask me to sum up my feelings right now in one word, and I’ll give you this : BLAH.

Also, if anyone makes a mention about how writing a book would be easy or just plain fun, I just might give them a high five. You know, in the face. With a chair.

How about you?


Also, I don’t have a vlog to put up this week. Next week I bet I will.


8 Responses to “what ails me”

  1. earth2laurag January 2, 2013 at 3:50 pm #

    I feel your pain, Dustin! When I feel this way (a lot) I think back to where I was weeks ago.. . It helps to see the slow progress I make, and it encourages me to keep going. So, even though a new mountain is in front of you.. remember, you’ve already crossed MANY already… you can do this.
    I’m rooting for you!

    • clayanddust January 2, 2013 at 7:36 pm #

      Thanks, Laura. I’m rooting for you too 🙂

  2. Tom Demma (Dad) January 2, 2013 at 4:15 pm #

    Dustin, Congradulations!! Sound to me that you are truely an AUTHOR. The reason I say that is because you are facing the same challenges that authors face every day and like and author you have not given up…you keep moving forward, revision after revision after revision. Just hold on to the fact that one day you will have a polished shinning story that everyone will be wanting to bury themselves in.
    My advise: Keep up the good hard work. It will pay off in time.

    “Nothing that’s worthwhile is ever easy. Remember that.” Nicholas Sparks from Message in a Bottle.

    Love, Dad

    • clayanddust January 2, 2013 at 7:38 pm #

      This made me feel better. Thanks. You know just what to say.

      Love, dustin

  3. bjpramann January 2, 2013 at 9:12 pm #

    Face Five Clinic: Open between the hours of “Shut Your Face” and, “I don’t want to live on this planet any more.”

    • clayanddust January 7, 2013 at 8:28 pm #

      Exactly 🙂

  4. humbleadoration January 3, 2013 at 12:12 am #

    Somehow I lost your blog on my feed reader, so thanks for posting on Facebook so I could find you again!

    I feel like this about house work, which isn’t as creative as writing, but where I am right now. Basic cleaning isn’t much of a challenge but trying to make things beautiful by decorating or peaceful by decluttering is so overwhelming. I feel like I have to chose which mountain to climb and more often than not slide back down instead of making any progress.

    • clayanddust January 7, 2013 at 8:27 pm #

      I don’t usually post on FB anymore because all my stuff has become so writer-y, and most of my FB friends are not into it. I hear what you’re saying about the house stuff too!

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