on writing & enjoying the process

19 Feb
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Morning edits with my writing partner who is, in fact, sitting on my edits.

Writing desperation. There was once a time when it looked like this for me: putting the kids to bed, kissing the husband good night, and making a pot of coffee. Come four in the morning the coffee pot would be empty and I’d be just crashing on the couch with many, many words under my belt.

I’m still desperate, but these days it looks like me setting an alarm and waking up at the buttcrack of dawn instead. As it turns out, sleep + coffee makes for more productivity than just coffee. Go figure.

Writers are desperate people. Desperate for time, for inspirations, for massive stokes of luck that shoot from the sky like lightning. And we’re desperate to make sense of things, namely, the stories that come to us. They’re always so enticing. And they’re always so dang flawed.

I will be done with my edits soon, and I will move onto querying. Soon, but not yet.

And, as I am at my least favorite stage of the writing process (the perfecting stage), I find myself growing increasingly antsy. Increasingly desperate. I want to query, query, query, and I want to open up that other story of mine and write, write, write, because querying and writing are such hopeful and fun endeavors while editing feels a bit like beating dead horses.

Desperate. I can get so desperate to be in a different place than I am.

When it gets me out of bed at 5:30, it’s a good thing; when it keeps me from enjoying the process, it becomes troublesome.

Being a writer is a joy. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to do and the only thing I want to do. If this is going to be my “thing” than I want to savor it, even when it sucks, just like I want to savor being a mother to my kids. Talk about two difficult jobs. And two jobs that you don’t want to squander and miss the joy of.

I’m at a trying stage in the writing process and getting desperate, but I want to enjoy it, even so. Writing is a joy. It’s miserably difficult and it’s a joy.

It’d be a shame to miss either, don’t you think?

“For those who can do it and who keep their nerve, writing for a living still beats most real, grown-up jobs hands down.”

– Terence Blacker

*******

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One Response to “on writing & enjoying the process”

  1. laurigirl February 19, 2014 at 4:40 pm #

    LOVE this. WAY to nail the emotions. 🙂

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